How obvious to observe that the writer’s life is solitary. I am at my desk by nine, but at five set my pen aside and shut down the computer—this is how I get words down on the page. The rhythm of the hours alone defeats writer’s block. What perhaps isn’t obvious is how lonely a life such discipline can make.
Friendships are crucial to this writer, and when I moved to Annapolis—leaving behind thirty years of friendships in California—I had to stretch my introverted self. I joined a couple of groups and also a charitable organization as my main way of finding new friends. I went to one of my first meetings with a mouth sour from anxiety, knowing no one. Still, after I found a seat, I steeled myself to turn to the woman to my left and introduce myself.
How amazing to discover that she, too, was a writer. Instant harmony with a stranger. And so began my connection with the woman who would become my best Annapolis buddy, the one to whom I could confide anything. Shortly thereafter, over the handlebars of our bikes at the gym, we cooked up the idea of starting a book group. The group soon grew from five to ten, with an easy flow, as we stick to discussing the topic at hand after just enough socializing brings us all together. Now I have a cadre of fellow bookies, whom I see for the most part once a month on Zoom. We are all united around a central passion—reading—and other good friendships have blossomed there, as well.
Ten years ago, I discovered another enthusiasm that also enlarges my world: editorial consulting. Aspiring writers of poetry, fiction and memoir come to me for editing and mentoring. This is one of the most rewarding and valuable parts of my life as a writer; I love teaching others the craft. I have clients of all ages and occupations, all different in their needs, but united in their dedication.
Right now two mentees in particular have captured my attention and admiration. One came to me over four years ago to work on her memoir. Over this span of time we have also become good friends. Though Terry hadn’t done any creative writing before she began working with me, she had a grip on a good story and the flare to manipulate words in interesting ways.
Her amazing ability to be open to my critiques, and her innate sense of dedication enabled her to complete the goal she had set for herself and to move on to the next step: hunting for a literary agent. In order to acquire a readership until she captured representation, she began to blog energetically on the new website she had created. Because she has an uncanny ability to capture just the right tone and perspective, her essays are both thoughtful and thought-provoking—and sometimes even humorous.
As a retired clinical psychologist, her insights extend not only into her own life but into those of her readers. If you’d like to take a look, you can find her at terrycrylen.com, where you can also sign up for her blogs at the bottom of the home page. A blog of quality is terrific for those occasions when you don’t have time for a book but nevertheless need something for your mind to gnaw on.
The other woman I am working with now has lived a life far different from mine—and yet here we are, poised above our keyboards. She is Latina and was raised among migrants in California near the agricultural fields. As a child she watched her family pick the nearby crops seasonally, though her father shirked his responsibilities and took off for Mexico with most of the cash in the winter months. Her portraits of her very religious mother, a woman who bent to her work without complaint, are vivid.
Gilliann has come from hard times, but her writing sings without any false drama or self-pity. Because we have such different backgrounds, she brings new and vital experiences into my field of vision—important additions to the life of someone sitting alone in front of a computer in a high end suburb every day. I hope someday soon I will be recommending her published work to you.
So often as we grow older we find our worlds narrowing. Nevertheless, it is possible to take your life in hand and broaden its boundaries. With my charitable work, our book club, and my mentoring, I have forced my world to widen as I near my sixty-eighth birthday. I recognize, in a way I never did when I was younger, that just as it is important to put in regular hours at my computer, it is equally important to push back from my desk. My recommendation to you: at that oh-so-difficult first meeting of whatever group you choose to make your target, try introducing yourself to the person sitting to your left—even if you are an introvert like me.
Nothing risked, nothing gained.
Yours,
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